Emily Vogel

poetry

Photo by Salah Ait Mokhtar

Never Get Caught Telling the Truth

I wanted to show you where I go
when I disappear like a body into the woods,
myself like a version of myself
in the third person-
the deluges of sunlight
awash upon the pond, and the secret
place between the trees

where the path diverges
in three directions, how the Spirits
are constant- cajole me toward the one
that leads to the bridge
and then more deeply into a darker space-
where there are planks
buttressing the path, until I’m just
in the middle of nowhere-

somewhere ages and ages away-
whatever makes difference from difference-

and because no one is around,
I can lie down in the terrain, 
or a smattering of autumn leaves,
or in the summer,
when there is grass, all glowing in a haze,
and it might tickle my cheeks,
as I close my eyes, or breathe my gaze
upward to the sky beyond
the threshold of the trees…I wanted
to tell you that he got away with it,
and not just him…but there were others too.

When I arrived there
and stood in front of the entry-point,
where the Aum in me dwells like a low hum-
there was a sign that read

Danger: Walking on the ice is strictly forbidden.

I wanted to show you that place
and tell you all about the things I can’t say-
you know, the stuff no one wants to believe-
like for instance, my 13-year-old daughter
smashed her fists through windows,
on my behalf, as well as her own-
and she couldn’t tell me why.

They call this autism.
But perhaps it was her modus superstes-
the animal instinct of the wounded?
We just don’t talk about that stuff.

And of course, I thought about
walking on the ice anyway-
but I didn’t want to get caught.

Emily Vogel's poetry, translations, reviews, and essays have been published widely, most recently in The North American Review, Omniverse, and Haoajan Press, among numerous others over the course of the past two decades. She is the author of five chapbooks, including Digressions on God, which was selected for the author's choice series with Main St. Rag. She is also the author of three full length collections with NYQ Books, the most recent being Dante's Unintended Flight (composed in Florence, Italy). She is the former poetry editor of Ragazine, and the recipient of the Academy of American Poets' Prize (Binghamton University, 2008). She has a collection of poetry forthcoming with NYQ Books this year.

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